1) Set the alarm one hour earlier than usual.
2) When it rings, slam it shut and go back to sleep. While this feels terrific most times of the year, it works best in the monsoon when the weather outside is cold, wet and windy.
3) An hour later, if the rain is still coming down in sheets, don't bother getting out of bed. The tracks and roads will be flooded anyway. It will take you about four hours to get to work and four to get back.
4) If the weather does hold up, wear bermudas to work. Or 3/4th pants. Or capris.
5) Remember to keep a change of clothes handy in office. Most offices in Mumbai don't have windows (except on their computers). No one will know it's raining outside. You will look strange floating around in shorts and your boss will think you are angling for a raise.
6) Umbrellas are no good in Mumbai. Get a raincoat.
7) Vanity is a bad idea. Rain sandals, no matter how ugly, are practical.
8) If the trains aren't working in the evening, don't hang around on the platform. Take a long, slow walk on Marine Drive. Or Worli Seaface. Or Bandra Bandstand. Stop for a bhutta on the way. Rub a wedge of lime on it and sink your teeth in. Namak and mirchi optional.
9) If you take public transport, carry a Walkman and at least one change of batteries. If you drive, stock up on your favourite music. Traffic really crawls in the monsoon and it's a great time to catch up on music.
10) Avoid partying in the evenings. Get home and curl up with a book, a movie or a TV soap.
11) Fix yourself some onion bhajias and adrak chai. If you've walloped a bhutta before getting home, be warned there's going to be no room for dinner.
12) Make at least one trip to the Sea Lounge at the Taj. Watch the rain fall softly on the bobbing boats, the heaving sea and the distant hills of Uran.
13) Drive to Khandala. Stop for chai and batata vadas at Diwadkar's before you climb the ghats and idli and filter coffee at Kamat's after you touch Khandala.
14) Drive to Matheran. The fun part is when you park your car and begin walking the red earth in pouring rain.
15) On second thoughts, half of Mumbai will be in Khandala and Matheran. Perhaps you should just drive to Goregaon's Film City. Dont forget to have cutting chai at the roadside stall. The milk comes from Aarey Colony next door.
16) Have a soup and barbecue party at home. Keep plenty of towels handy for dripping guests.
17) Look outside your window. The landscape looks like it stepped out of a shower in a Lux commercial. The rains are lovely when you're indoors. And then it's time to go to work.
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